SELF DISCOVERY

---

Deep down

underneath the facade and the Ego

Under the layers of misfortune and self pity

and scars

is a tender and curious soul

There, an undeniable yearning

to transcend the superficial 

To navigate unchartered waters

and discover strength in adversity

To set aside pride and to sacrifice dignity

To find lessons in lesser judgements 

in exchange for the purest of thought, the naked self

To risk all that you have

to find all that you are

is to grow

Grow wild

Let it be, let go

Let wild winds blow

Let the rain slap your face

And wash away regret

Just forget

for once that you are small and fearful

Be big, courageous

Be loud and destructive

You are the storm

tonight

Live and laugh and love without abandon

The sun will rise in the morning

And shed light on all that was 

in you

that needed to be moved

Steps may be small and seemingly

pointless

But with each one

toes curl and wiggle

with soft new ground in between them

Each step leading you closer to vast oceans of promise

Bit by bit

moving forward, moving on

laying tracks in the mud

over sticks, stones 

broken hearts and bones

and up steep mountain cliffs

Bit by bit

Against a blistering sun we are near to death

Or the chill of the lonely night

We welcome each breath

Welcome each day

with faith that there is cool running water

just over the summit

And know that it only takes one river 

to run your spirit dry

or guide you to the ocean

Let me be patient, without condition

And when you speak

let me listen

Allow me to hear you

and let me be heard

Our hearts and intentions

Not just our words

Grant us the courage to follow our dreams

Give us the strength to support and to lead

Let us take risks to reach our potential

To forgive easily things inconsequential

We are stronger together

(but let us agree)

When I let you be you

Let me be me

I am warm with myself

in this cozy safe mindspace

Curled up like a smile

with hot chocolate thoughts

on a dreary day

I am a woman unafraid 

to speak my mind

Even shout it

sometimes

My words are my gospel

my rebellion and demise

I try to pick the best ones but don't always get it right

I say outrageous things

that sometimes make you nervous

I am rowdy and vulgar and blunt

on purpose

I can be sweet and exceptionally courteous

I might also prove you wrong

or deem your efforts worthless

I could be your daughter

your lawyer or your doctor

I could be your sister or mother

Or your lover

I am a woman

I am many things 

With still so much to do and say

I am not the quiet type

And I am NOT ashamed

Don’t tempt me with your promises

in your loneliest hour

I was your friend before you picked

a garden full of flowers 

And now the season’s changed

Petals wilted, fruit has rot

I’ve stood through flood and fire

and will not fall for your charmed talk

Don’t sit beneath my branches

to shelter from the storm

I will reach to the sun

but not to keep you warm

The moon will whisper secrets

together we will know

But I will shed my fears like leaves

Together you will go

Don’t spread your seed on winds

that only blow back barren

Then, climb my mighty trunk

to look at where you’ve been

Or from your lofty perch

speak to me of truths

Too many second chances

make it difficult to root

Don’t suffocate my bark

as if a creeping vine

The biting cold of winter

will skunk you every time

Consider earth your savior now

Keep low and learn to grow

This is the way to find the answers 

that your heart seeks to know

Smoke rings drift

into winter night sky

the stinging air of ambition

proves no match for lungs full of numb wonder

dilated capillaries

Minds open wide

unlocking ancient wisdom

like the subconscious workings of a dream

We imagine

quietly together

the healing feels soft

We are awake

It is good

I speak my truth in the way I move

There are secrets in my bones

only my body knows

And when chatter in my mind 

overwhelms my soul

I dance to be whole

First, I wiggle my toes to let the earth know

I am here and I am ready

to let myself go

I bend my knees and get real low

to keep myself steady

to connect with the flow

Eyes closed 

I reach my arms out wide to each side

as if to embrace 

all of the love (and time) I've misplaced

And then for my hips

I rock and I roll

jump and bounce and shimmy and twirl

Whatever it is that needed out or in

I move to let the healing begin

I get lost in the versions of me

Which one do I need myself to be

Adaptation becomes me

in a world that HATES & LOVES me

Celebrates my beauty

Punishes my ugly

Which crazy sets me free today

Whom shall I be today?

Someone to set my mind at ease

or my demons free

Anyone I have to be 

for peace

but all I really want to be is me

Body is jellyfish

Body wants to do what body wants

Funny thing

Laugh

Wrong thing at

Body feels good if body feels good

Funny thing wrong thing

Spineless propulsion

Adaptive

Body

Illl

ff

rr

gg

dd

ee

pp